Monday, 6 April 2015

The Post

It seems that nowadays anything can be put through our letterboxes without our consent. Gone are the days of that one time in the early morning, when the postman (official Royal Mail) would put an array of envelopes through, sometimes payment for work done, bills, a card or letter from a friend or relative. Now it would appear that anyone can walk up to your front door and put whatever they like through, and in most cases these unsolicited items make my blood pressure rise somewhat.

We get more than our fair share of takeaway food menus and those little plastic bags that charities want you to fill with clothing (up to seven a week of the latter is pushing thing's a little don't you think?) But there is one thing in particular that tends to put me into a bit of a frenzy, and one of them appeared on my doormat this morning.

It may have become apparent that I am a gardener, and most people that know me steer clear of conversation about gardens that contain rockeries filled with heathers and dwarf conifers, the stuff of nightmares. But this unsolicited abomination that I was forced to pick up from the floor, inside my own home, is THE worst afront to human dignity that I have to face, thankfully only a few times a year.

The novelty garden sundries catalogue.


For those of a nervous disposition, I suggest that you turn away now. If you do feel strong enough of mind and spirit, then let me share with you some of the delights on offer.


The Steadfast Medieval Knight. Standing a threatening three feet tall, and a snip at £79.99



The Glowing Lily Pond Light......£16.99.....need I say more?



Apparently this colour changing string of plastic birds is a 'must for all owl lovers!' I love owls, but think it best to leave alone. £16.99



A two feet 'realistic resin' pink flamingo to adorn a patio? Only £39.99 (My personal worst)



Why?....why, why, why? Bessie The Cow tree hugger at a special offer price of £19.99.

And last, and also very least (sorry John), the garden zombie sculpture in quality polyresin. I'm not even going to dignify it with a price.


Only had one cup of Earl Grey this morning, and so better put the kettle on for another before I go into melt down. I hope you are all enjoying some downtime during the bank holiday.
I will tell a little about our Easter weekend when my blood level drops a couple of notches.

17 comments:

  1. Good morning Gary ~ Some of the things 'they' try to sell us is downright amazing.

    I'd have to say though that I do like the glowing water lily light. :-)

    Enjoy 'bank week'.

    I'm still dealing with this cold. Slowly getting better, feel dragged out and not like doing much. I didn't even fix Easter lamb dinner yesterday, just didn't feel like it.

    Hope you and Amanda have a nice week.

    FlowerLady

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    1. Hi Lorraine,
      Sorry to hear you are still struggling with that bug. I will let you off for liking the glowing lily in that case :)

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  2. the cow is much, much worse than the flamingo!

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    1. I must admit to being torn between the two at first Kylie.

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  3. Yes, this goes too far. It's incredibly tacky. Yes. I get mostly junk mail...probably half on places to eat.

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    1. Most junk mail here is for local Indian and fried chicken takeaway food establishments Red.

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  4. I think John neeeeds that Zombie ;o)

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  5. I am tempted to get it for him as a belated wedding gift Doc, but I am worried that I would have Chris knocking on my door armed with a baseball bat.

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  6. I hate junk mail and get more than my fair share. We live in a converted Victorian house on the top two floors and my neigbour seems to think that I like his as well as our own. I don't rise to his silliness and just throw them in the bin.
    There's so much that could make me angry, but I'm learning to let go, it's taken me until 69 to get there though. Lol
    BrionyX

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    1. We need a lot of patience in this modern world Briony. Sounds like you have it sussed.

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  7. My goodness. That was a fun post. Thanks for the laugh. Some outrageous stuff for sure. I do believe that comes my way as well. That's what the recycle box is for.

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    1. Just think of how many trees could be saved if we got less junk mail.

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    2. I get the same catalog here, although I've never ordered from it, and I always think the same thing when it comes to saving trees. I can't imagine how there isn't a law against this kind of unsolicited junk mail by now. If the law hadn't been formed in the 1970s, then surely, the 80s? Or 90s? etc. And yet, it's 2015 and no, still at least twenty catalogs a week here alone, in addition to all the other junk mail one gets.

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  8. Hummmmmm....... That zombie!
    I love it

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  9. I was lookinf for a zombi for John as a present for the wedding but could not find here. ( dont look at the post about the Gnomes,..)

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    Replies
    1. I wouldn't encourage him Yael.

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