Monday 18th January

By some kind of miracle I am back home again. On Monday, Amanda had gone to work again, another very heavy day of working in the rain. The weekend had been a really tough one, as I seemed to be getting worse, and so by the time she walked through the door, tired and soaking wet from the day. she was met by a rather pitiful and desperate me, gasping and panicking, and saying we needed the doctors......NOW! I could tell that I didn't need to say anything, as she, as usual had already decided that regardless of what I planned.

Again we went straight to the head of the queue, and a different doctor diagnosed a possible blood clot, and off we went straight to A and E. It was a long night/morning of tests, and after a CT scan the result was indeed that a very large clot has travelled from my leg, and divided into two, sticking

 in both pulmonary arteries. I can't pretend that I wasn't terrified. My first night in hospital was scary, lonely and sleepless. I spent some of it praying, but just lately it seems that I only speak to the man upstairs when I need help.

I came home yesterday, having been looked after amazingly by the hospital staff. Apart from all of the practical care one receives in the acute illness assessment ward, which is faultless, the main thing is that they make a person who is quite frankly terrified, feel safe. 

It's going to be a very long recovery. The clots have settled enough to at least allow me to do basic things around the house without feeling like the end is near. A lifetime of anticoagulants now, but no complaints there as far as I am concerned. I feel a little less like a ticking time bomb now.... a little.

 After five days of being wired to an ECG, oxygen and pulse monitor, tubes up my nose to oxygenate, a cannula so that they can take or administer stuff (like the contrast chemical that makes your mouth and genitals hot), the readings reached an acceptable level. The clots have settled enough to allow me to walk a little, wash, shave and dress without the reading dropping.The ultrasound showed that although strained, the old ticker was not permanently damaged. I could leave when my meds arrived.

It's good now, very good indeed to be in our home, with my wonderful wife. I can't believe that it's only a week ago that all this started, it feels like months. Around my birthday just before this happened I had pumped the motorcycle tyres up ready to get it to the garage. A trip to the local 'cool dude' shop for some roller blades for my birthday was on the cards. All those thing's aren't cancelled, just put on hold, as is the plan behind this card that my wonderful wife gave me for my birthday, and which she refuses to take down until it's statement has been fulfilled.

It's going to be a long and slow recovery, but with the amazing support of family and friends that has just simply poured out unquestioned, we might just come out the other side. The business is a major issue to juggle, but short term, Amanda has come up with a plan, and between us, and with the help of family we may just survive to live another day for the next few months.